Hello loyal readers, most likely huddled together in a small basement for fear of persecution by other, more powerful film blogging communities. We appreciate your continued support. Also, do you have enough blankets down there?
Anyway, our Top Ten podcast has been pushed back a few weeks due to some scheduling issues. 2015 is already well under way, so I figured I’d at least tease out my top films of the year. In haiku form. Just so the most riddle-inclined of you might know what they are. I won’t be changing the reviews of my #20-11 films on the site. Those will remain a snapshot of how I felt at the time I wrote them. That said, the ordering has changed, so the numbers of these haikus won’t completely match the film review numbers. One fine, exceedingly noble film has even fallen out of the Top 20.
So yeah, we’ll still bring you our Top Tens soon, but here’s a little film hor d’oeuvre for you. Guess the films in the comments or on our Facebook page. Whoever guesses the most right will have a chance to be on the podcast or have their own Top Ten read on the show. Thank you for reading, whoever you are!
Brady’s Top 25 Films of 2014:
Standup keeps crashing
Film’s party. A great comic
Makes his best work yet.
Great filmmaking yarn.
Cult of personality’s
Sad, expressive diorama
It’s not long-winded.
Just too aghast to tell its
“Hero” to shut up.
Civics with a soul.
I remove my skeptic’s hat.
A good man’s walking.
Too lovingly critical.
Clear-eyed, like he was.
Even good choices
Cannot protect us from change.
Drive out to meet it.
The American Dream
Is a useful hypocrisy.
Flogged by our bootstraps.
Dredges up buried
Hatred until the hateful
Are buried with it.
And curiously at Time.
Time gazes right back.
And constraint kiss and make up.
I can’t stop laughing!
Is rekindled and reborn,
With less cynicism.
Tense and immediate.
The best spy movie ever.
It’s bigger than film.
Great movie star makes
We need each other.
World rendered with acid wit
And great tenderness.
Female friendship and
Punk in 80’s Sweden make
A darling “fuck you”.
To live forever is to
Become a hipster.
Icy and tender.
Kubrick just made Predator
And it’s beautiful.
Captured through sound and acting.
An old fairytale.
Humane and gutting.
The family unit
Climbs naked and embarrassed
From an avalanche.
A perfect horror,
Not because it stabs and shrieks,
But because it weeps.
A period piece
With character and insight
Beneath each brushstroke.
Once upon a time
A great many souls were lost.
And so I create.
Yet sees it for what it is.
All just passing time.
Guess as many as you can! Stay tuned for our podcast!
My great-grandfather was a tailor
A weaver of tapestries into costumes that mesmorized audiences of the stages on Broadway
Yes my great-grandfather was a tailor and perhaps that’s why when the the fabric of your pantleg touches mine
Or my fingers spiderdance across the draped curtain over the small of your back during a hug goodbye
I feel bubbly electric,
I’m goddamn eccentric–did you know this
I keep pulling the dumbest face just to see if you’ll notice
Just to get a little bit
Of a nit pick
A flit of a flicker of a spark in your eye
And when I see it I just want to die
My great-grandfather was a tailer
But no seamstress like you.
You weave my nerves and my hurt
You loop my bliss with my fear of a kiss
My interstit…ial feelings of doubt
Into a rhapsody of clout that could tetherweight my momentum anywhere you chose to flung it
And you could sing words so foul directly into my soul if it were you that sung it
I’d love it.
And this might sound like a love poem
But it’s really a confusion tomb
That I’ve opened up like Pandora’s box
And these thoughts
Got me tied up in knots
Got me tossing and turning on my cot
And wondering what I ought
Because I got no business being with you
My heart belongs to another
And though she makes my heart flutter
Despite her mutters
That my life she clutters
YOU make my heartbeat stutter
That slight bump-hiccupity-bump
That makes that whump whump weeeaoooar weeeeaoooar
Fill my ears
And my mind fills with tears
I can’t let out
Aw shit, now you got me making stupid sounds and faces again
But baby it feels so good when someone as wonderful as you notices me
And I do nothing
I can pursue nothing
And I doubt you’d want me to.
But my great-grandfather was a tailor
And maybe if I can reach back through bloodlines
Drawn from thimbleless needle pricks sticking in my veins
Giving me a brilliant claim to affection create with
Dominico James Valentino’s trade’s namesake
I could just forge some kind of sinewy thread that could lash our pinkies together with a thin strand of honey
So we can orbit philotically
Down this invisible tin can string telephone
A secret code
Handed down from Martini
You and I could have something special
There’s a video going around on facebook from UpWorthy, curated from Buzz Feed.
The UpWorthy article is here.
There is a good point to be made here, but using Kevin Spacey is a bad example. Kevin Spacey is a great actor. Up there with Meryl Streep. Meryl Streep doesn’t get asked bullshit questions, for the most part, either. Neither does Naomi Watts (well not this year at least).
But guess who does? Kristin Stewart…and Jennifer Lopez. Why? Because they’re not known for being powerhouse actresses (even though Kristin Stewart has done some good work–maybe we should say Jennifer Love Hewitt). Their existence in Hollywood is based highly on their sexualization. Interestingly though, so is Keanu Reeves’ but he gets asked interesting questions about his movie.
So we’re really more sexist to people who’s talent value quotient is not super high. We’re sexists more to people who have careers because their sexiness sells as opposed to because of their craft.
We’re still sexist in the other situations though.
And yes there are examples of good actresses being talked down to side by side with good actors being valued based on their intellect. Famously Robert Downey Jr. And whats-her-name.. Was it Gwyneth? Hmmm… I know people think she’s good so I’ll call that good enough.
My point, maybe they should have done this with Keanu or John Leguizamo (who I like) or Justin Bieber or someone.
Using Kevin Spacey was contrived because its more about his reaction than it is about the issue. Does Kevin not know the issue exists? No he knows, but it is fucked up as he says. You’re basically using his celebrity to make him look like an ass because he didn’t catch on fast enough. Then using that (that he looks dumb and confused) as a way of calling attention to your point. That would piss me off too. Because he deserves more respect than that. As does Meryl, and she gets that if you go watch the other red carpet interviews going back to 2010.
So pick on someone who would get these questions if they were female gendered. A female Kevin Spacey (who I would say is probably Meryl) wouldn’t. Also use language that the target is socialized to understand Mani-pedi? Really? That’s so out of context for what he’s prepared for of course he’s confused. Should have just said manicure.
Anyway. Point made.